So you want to date a professional athlete? Do you really? Are you sure? Well here it is, the honest to God truth on dating a professional athlete from a big leaguer’s perspective.
I interviewed a friend (who for the sake of this interview, wishes to remain anonymous), we’ll just say his name is George Henry. George played professional baseball since 2014 and is currently doing something every baseball player dreams about, playing in the big show. However, my biggest questions for him were, “How do go about dating now?”, “What red flags are you looking for?” “Is Bumble even still an option for you?”, and “What really happens on the road with cleat chasers?” He answered every question as honestly as he could. I felt that if I revealed who this mysterious George Henry really is, his answers wouldn’t be authentic or genuine.
What are the biggest redflags you look for when dating?
Answer: Insecurity is the biggest one for me. You have to be completely confident in who you are. Especially because majority of our relationship will be long distance. Communication is key, and if something bothers you we have to talk about it. Assumptions are like cancer. Looking back at my last relationship, my ex was constantly monitoring my social media. She knew when I liked a girl’s post, when someone followed me and she wasn’t happy about it. Ultimately it ended with her going stalker on me and I had to block her. She created fake accounts from the college we went to and would watch my stories and posts I’d like. Lack of ambition is another for me. I need to know that I’m not the only priority in your life. You need to have your own dreams and passions. We both need to push each other in all aspects of life.
Are you on any online dating Apps? What does your profile look like?
Answer: Currently, no. When I first started my professional baseball career I did. I mainly used my profile for hookups. My profile had photos of me playing baseball on it. (George mentioned that guys use photos in their uniform to seal the deal and play the baseball card. This card isn’t just with baseball players, NFL, NBA, NHL players use their photos in uniforms to get girls too). I didn’t care if girls knew I played.
What’s the deal with this Baseball Card?
Answer: Every professional athlete knows they have this card in their back pocket. Early in my career, I’ve used it to seal the deal before. When we went out, we didn’t tell girls we’d play. We’d try and see if we can get a girl without playing the baseball card. Like we’re an everyday Joe. (My thoughts: Guys use this card because it works… It works with women who like the idea of knowing they slept with an athlete. A man’s occupation controlling your decision to sleep with them is on the person willing to accept the card).
Since you didn’t go the Lebron, Savannah James route (marry your ride or die, high school sweetheart) how do you chose a girl to really date?
Answer: At this point in my career, I can’t make dating a priority for me. I know that I can’t give a relationship the right attention and support that it deserves. Three years from now, it might be a different story. Since a professional baseball players life is constantly changing, I need to be in a stable place with a team before I’d want to be in a relationship. I probably would go the Steph Curry route and hit up a girl that knew me before I was playing in the MLB. I also know I’d be looking for a girl from a long term perspective. It would be less physical for me and more about an emotional connection.
So you wouldn’t go the Kate Upton Justin Verlander route and marry someone that was on an equal playing field (Occupationally and Financially)?
Answer: Look, you know Ciara would never date Joe the plumber and Russell Wilson wouldn’t marry a random instagram model. They date each other because their on the same level. They both have the same status and roll in the same inner circle. I wouldn’t mind marrying someone that was on a similar level as me, if they had personality with it. I can already get an attractive girl I want to marry someone with substance.
Are the cleat chasers real or just something you read about?
Answer: Yes… very real. There are girl’s that deliberately go for any MLB player for the status and I feel terrible about it. These girls know that they’re dming a guy that has a wife and kids at home. It comes with the profession. There’s endless amounts of attractive woman and It’s hard to fault my teammates.There’s this feeling of, the grass is always greener. The everyday guy doesn’t have the same opportunities to cheat. I feel bad for their wives and children at home. I honestly do. Cheating happens in all professions, not just baseball and not all guys cheat. Remember that guys can be dog’s, sorry ladies.
Do guys ever fly girls out to see them?
Answer: Some guys get lonely. They might have a girl back home that they fly out just for hooking up. I think both parties are aware of it tho. They’ve got to be aware. Most players don’t know who to trust when it comes to relationships.
How long do you wait before you tell a girl what you do for a living?
Answer: With social media, it’s pretty much impossible to hide who you are. If it’s someone that I legitimately want to start a future with I try to tell them in the beginning. I don’t want to start the relationship with a lie. I go into every new relationship believing that a girl only wants me because I play baseball. I’m guarded, I know that about myself. It’s hard to figure out who’s there because for me and not the perks of my career.
Does the whole, “throw a ball into the stands with your number on it” actually work?
Answer: I’ve never tried it! I’m kind of busy out here with a ballgame haha. There’s a lot of hurtels with that. For one, is this girl actually single? How will it look to fans if I’m focused on giving a girl my number? Is she even of age? In the minor leagues, one of my teammates had the ball boy give a girl a baseball with his number on it. The next day, the GM (General Manager) pulled all the players into the locker room to confront them about this ball situation. They found out he gave his number to a seventeen year old girl! Her parent’s emailed the GM and no one ever threw a ball out again.
What’s the biggest misconception with dating a professional athlete?
Answer: Probably that this lifestyle isn’t as hyped up as it seems to be. You’re gone for several months out of the year. You really don’t get to see each other as often as you should. Your career is constantly changing. One day you’re playing for the Dodger’s the next day you’re traded to the Cubs. It takes a strong woman to be able to handle that. She’s got to be confident and driven, your biggest supporter. Don’t get me wrong, the stereotypes can be true. Guy’s have trophy wives, the girls with the Louis Vuitton bags and no personality. They’re around for arm candy and looks. My only issue with that is, what happens when the aura of professional baseball is lifted. You’re no longer an athlete, you don’t have the same status anymore. Will those trophy wives still stick around with you then?
There are several issues that come with dating a professional athlete. There’s also beauty in getting to see your significant other live out their dream and do something that only a small percentage ever get to do, make it to the big leagues. For George, I leave you with this. Not every girl is looking for a meal ticket or a way out. There’s a lot of woman still out there that are driven and confident, you might have to seep through the baseball gypsies and cleat chasers to find the real ones. If I were you, I’d go for a girl who had a career and her own life. Probably would want to date another athlete, just saying. (Google Blake Griffin’s kids). Thank you George for being vulnerable with your answers. One day you’ll find your Kate Upton, Savannah James, or amazing girl at the grocery store. Until then, keep living out your dream, the relationship stuff with come when you’re ready.
Stop Cleating (cheating with cleats),
That Tall Redhead